[gentle acoustic guitar] [birds chirp and sing] [feet stepping on leaves] I love running.

Running on the trails, being in nature, seeing the leaves changing takes you back to being a kid again.

[faint gospel humming under guitar] Piglet is my running partner.

There's something about running with your dog... when you call his name and he looks at you with a smile on his face.

I always have a saying: enjoy it, because you never know whether you'll come by this way again.

[breeze whirs, birds chirp and call] [dogs panting] Let's go for a walk.

[dogs pant and whine] Let's go.

Come on this way!

Come on!

(sings softly) Da-da da-dan-da-dan Phew!

This is my exercise.

I walk on one side of the deck to the other side of the deck.

And then, [grunts softly] walk back.

Ooh!

Ooh.

Ooh.

Ugh.

Sucks to have ALS.

[John grunts] JOHN (narrates): ALS... I've been diagnosed about a year and a half now.

[John talking to dogs] It's scary... [dogs bark excitedly] because with ALS, you gradually lose everything.

Hey Pete!

- What?

What, John?

JOHN: Gotta go pee.

Okay, hang on.

PETER: I'm holding on.

JOHN: Don't drop me.

JOHN: But I'm glad I'm not going alone through this.

[dogs scuffling] JOHN: Come here.

Ginge.

- They bite each other happily all day long.

My husband... [crosstalk] I've never said that word to you before.

I never call Peter my husband.

He's my partner, he's my caregiver now, he's the gardener, he's the uh... - Cook.

- the cook, he's the lawn mower guy- - The bathroom cleaner.

- Yeah.

He's just a guy that lives here.

[Peter chuckles] My sugar daddy... PETER: I don't mind being in the background.

John's the star.

JOHN: But he's all good- PETER: Yeah, John's the star.

Everybody loves him.

He's got a great group of people to support him.

And he's helped a lot of people, too... including me.

'Cause I'm not as social as he is.

That's where John comes in to keep things crazy, which is a good thing.

[gentle music] [lively chatter] [laughter and lively conversation] - Knockers up, ladies!

- Fabulous.

- We met John because he would be teaching various fitness classes and he just had a huge following.

He convinced me to kinda start running at the age of age 48.

We ran the Marine Corps Marathon.

- And I said, "John, I don't like to run.

I'm not a runner."

He said, "You can do it with us.

Trust me."

And so, I started running with him.

No, he doesn't know.

- Did everybody sign the card?

[lively chatter] - Knowing John saved my life.

I was going through a really bad marriage and running is what saved me.

[lively chatter] - Here comes your new ride!

[whooping and hollering] JOHN: You've got to be kidding!

- Yeah baby!

[excited chatter and clapping] - Baby!

- It's actually more for us, because we don't wanna- [laughter] - We'll get you, we'll get you... There you go!

(laughs joyously) - It's not super easy to get into, but- - Oh, it's like glitter, too!

JOHN: Wow.

- Whaddya think?

GROUP: WOOOO!

[live rock band plays nearby] [excited chatter] [onlookers cheer them on] JOHN: This is so much fun!

- What is lost with somebody with ALS: They lose their voluntary muscle control of their arms, legs, and hands.

They lose the ability to chew, swallow, and speak and then eventually the ability to breathe independently.

Prognosis is not great.

Three to five years is the average life expectancy and veterans are twice as likely to get ALS.

Nobody knows why- nobody knows why.

[indistinct conversations] JOHN: So I joined the military and my mom was crying she goes, "Oh my son, you don't know how to carry a gun!"

My dad was like, "Let him go.

Maybe he'll be a man."

[laughter] (woman speaking) Where are you on the ladder of eighteen kids?

JOHN: Fourteen.

- Oh!

[someone laughs] - So I can say that Auntie Pa'u was busy every year, right?

- I don't know how they do it.

[raucous laughter] JOHN: I always thought she was fat and she goes, "Well that's because I'm always pregnant!"

- Oh my God!

[laughter] JOHN: I'm like, oh yeah!

[laughter] - Nevertheless, John, you know, you're not alone in this- JOHN: I know, I'm not.

- You have family here.

JOHN: Yep.

- A hundred percent!

JOHN: I'm not- yep, yep.

You know, God gives you what you can handle.

And he figured I'm a drama queen... It's just perfect for me because I'm taking all of you with me.

[loud laughter] - For a ride... JOHN: Yeah, for my journey.

♪ JOHN: I'm very proud of being Samoan, I love my culture.

Family is number one.

PETER: I've been to Samoa a few times already and they accept me just like a brother, like a son.

- Mmhm.

Yep.

PETER: They're the closest family I have.

JOHN: Yeah.

[gentle acoustic guitar] [dog barks, waves crash] [kids chatter playfully] JOHN: Yeah, I remember going on the village, Leone... 18 kids... [motor bike revs] never alone.

But I was different.

- We grew up together, you know.

We're best of friends ever since from fourth grade.

For some reason [kids chatter] we find out just between him and I, that we are different from all the other boys.

They call us here in the local community 'fa'afafine'... or as they call us now, 'the third gender'.

[faint chatter of kids] They make fun of us, "Hey!

why do you walk like a girl?"

You know?

It was like an embarrassment for families to- to have a child- to be called 'fa'afafine'.

- Across the street, they have girls... and all John does is play with them with dolls.

He never plays with the brothers.

He plays with the girls.

And they know John was gay.

- It was so hard for us to accept it.

We worry about what other people, other family would say.

[reflective music] [waves crashing] [soft tonal music] [wheelchair rattles and rolls on deck] [birds chirp faintly] [faint extended exhalations] [birds chirp, footsteps crunch foliage] [low tonal vocalization] ♪ [footsteps] [vocal music continues] ♪ [slow exhalations and foot steps] [vocal music continues] [footsteps, faint breathing, birds chirping] [vocal music swells] [music ends] John: Can I have a beer?

Well, don't squinch your eyes at me.

What did my doctor say?

Give him whatever he wants?

[both laugh] JOHN: Right?

You're gonna die anyway!

So... PETER: Okay Ginge, be good.

Come here.

Ginge.

Come come come... JOHN: Right, you're gonna go, K?

[Ginger pants] PETER: Quick quick... come!

- So yeah... I'm telling you, living with Peter is not easy.

He's the stubbornest person you ever met.

JOHN: But he's a good guy.

[Piglet pants] JOHN: I'm really surprised we're even still together.

I mean, God, he put up with so much crap that I do.

JOHN: I met Peter at a party and he asked me if I was gay and I said, "No... I'm straight."

And he laughed.

[laughter] - He could see right through you.

- Look at his face right now!

- I just kinda rolled my eyes thinking, 'you lying son of a [bleep], you.'

[both laugh] [woman still laughing] JOHN: I was!

I was straight!

PETER: We agreed to go out to, was it lunch?

The following day?

- No, we went home that night.

- Did we?

Oh.

WOMAN: How many years later now?

- Forty and some year.

GROUP: Wow!

- That's very nice.

- Yeah.

- Wow.

- That's awesome.

- That's awesome.

JOHN: I kept it together.

- That's super cool.

JOHN: It was me.

Believe it.

PETER: Yep, it was all John.

JOHN: Yeah.

We haven't killed each other yet.

PETER: Close!

We came awfully close!

[laughter] [gentle percussion and acoustic guitar] [wheels on rough concrete] [John cackles] [John cackles] JOHN: See, the nice thing, I never had to worry about hurt on the road 'cause I got a nurse on this side, I got a CPA on this side, I got a lawyer somewhere.

[laughs] JOHN: And look at the ducks!

Oh!

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

JOHN: Wow.

JOHN: I know it's coming.

[faint talking] So having fun, and live life to its fullest is the best thing.

If you don't think about it, it doesn't sink in.

It's just like running a hundred miles- if you think about it, you try to analyze it.

But if you don't think about it, you'll be fine.

Eat more, drink more, love more, party more... with a little help from my friends.

[John and his friend howl playfully] [indistinct talking] [running footsteps and laughing] My crazy friends.

[reflective music] [indistinct scraping] It's quicker when you use your fingers than using a brush.

I think.

JOHN: One day, we came home back from my doctor's appointment, and I said, "I gotta record how I feel sometime, you know, with ALS."

So I thought, why not?

Paint!

[Ginger and Piglet bark] EFFIE: Hi, guys!

[rustling] Hey, dude!

JOHN: Hi!

- A [bleep] of lasagna.

A [bleep].

[to dog] Okay, we've met, okay, really?

EFFIE: This is a very clear message that needs no interpreting.

JOHN: ALS- A and then the finger for the L and then S. EFFIE: That would work.

- And then- EFFIE: A- JOHN: Yep.

- L-S.

- Yep.

- Perfect.

EFFIE: That is your heart.

JOHN: That was one morning that I argued with Peter and I was feeling [bleep].

I just came over here, I was depressed, I was in all that, I feel like my heart was just- - Give me a call if you're depressed.

- feeling with my heart, so I just started painting what I felt.

Isn't it great?

[somber music] EFFIE: Mmhm.

JOHN: This one, is what I know the end is going to come to.

EFFIE: What do you think the end's gonna be like?

- I'm gonna have beautiful rain in the back like that, skies moving.

Yep.

Me sitting on my wheelchair... - Mmhm - and the angels are coming.

[reflective music] [river water flowing, footsteps, breathing] [soulful vocals] ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪ [shimmery, beating music] [music fades] Where are you taking that to?

JENNIFER: Well, for Goodwill, right?

PETER: Now that John's been approved by the VA, we're gonna modify the house to be able to make it more compatible for wheelchair access.

JENNIFER: These are all too big for you, I can see that now.

PETER: And in the meantime, John cannot live here because there'll be too much commotion and dust.

JOHN: Please tell me which Goodwill you're going to, okay?

- In Frederick.

Why?

PETER: No John, you're not going over there to buy 'em back.

JENNIFER: Oh.

PETER: And the VA will house him at the VA hospital in Martinsburg for that four-or-five-month period of time.

It's just an hour away.

JOHN: I'm gonna take- Jennifer - Yes?

- Look at that shirt you have there.

JENNIFER: Oh.

(laughs) - That was my military shirt- look ... [Jennifer gasps] JOHN: It has my name on it.

- Can I have it?

JOHN: Yes!

You may!

Look at that shirt.

I don't think I'd ever fit in that anymore.

JOHN: I never thought I'd end up, up here.

The only way I left the island was because I joined the military.

- Mmhm.

- Or I'd still be there.

JENNIFER: Are you glad you got away?

JOHN: Yeah.

- Yeah.

JOHN: But, you know, I lived through it.

You know, um, I was... raped in Fort Jackson, when I was there for basic.

Same thing down in Fort Polk, Louisiana.

But if you tell, you can get in trouble, you know "it's all your fault, you should not be in the military because you're a fa'afafine blah blah blah..." And then, there was a guy that I went to high school with, after school he'd wait at the corner of the road and he'd just grabbed my hands and drag me in the woods.

You know?

[somber music] What do you do?

But then I went to the boarding school, it was worse there.

These guys, they climb from the ceiling and they'd come into your shower and all that stuff.

And they just did things to you, it don't matter, you know.

Oh my God, I'm actually talking about it!

And uh I mean, there's just- there was nothing you could do!

- I'm surprised you like to go back.

- Well, I do like to go back just to visit my family.

- Oh, right.

And you're young, you don't know any better.

You just thought this is how it is.

- How did you get through that?

Tried to enjoy it.

[they both chuckle bitterly] You know, I went through life... blurred, [tapping] from this, from this, from this, from this.

If you stop and think about it, that's when it hits.

But if you keep on moving and don't look back, you know, you're fine.

That's my theory.

(laughs) [lighthearted music] [elevator signal rings, John chuckles] [faint chatter] JOHN: The life here at the VA is very good.

The nurses are fantastic.

I mean, they don't miss a beat.

[lighthearted music continues] JOHN: I know.

- John's my favorite!

JOHN: Yeah, yeah!

BINGO CALLER: O-73!

B-10!

WOMAN: Your lungs are pretty important, are they not?

JOHN: Uh-huh.

- What do our lungs do for us?

JOHN: Smoke cigarettes.

- No!

[group laughs] WOMAN: One!

Come on!

ALL: Two!

ALL: Seven.

- Good job!

ALL: Eight.

[John whispers to himself] - John, are you sure you want to leave all this?

JOHN: Yeah.

[laughter] - Look at her!

She's like- - Really?

[laughter] - So cute!

[laughter] [mellow, happy music] [nail gun whirs and clicks] [hammering, construction] [mellow, happy music continues] [a dog barks outside] [laughs echo through the house] [faint talking and laughing] KATIE: You're gonna miss us!

JOHN: I know I will.

- I know.

Thank you for everything.

- You're very welcome.

You changed this place.

JOHN: Uh huh... - You did.

- You changed it.

(emotional) It'll never be- TIFFANY: Give me a hug.

I'm gonna miss you.

John: I'll miss you, too.

MATT: All your paintings- Careful, Pete, watch your back.

[shuffling and chatter] [peaceful mid-tempo music] [music ends] [insects chirp and buzz] JOHN: Do you know what you're doing?

PETER: Mmhm.

This temporary one on... [dogs panting nearby] just to get your [bleep] out of bed.

Do you want underwear on first?

JOHN: Well, that would be nice, wouldn't it?

PETER: I'm gonna roll you over to get the underwear on.

It'd be easier to do if you didn't have such a fat [bleep].

JOHN: Excuse me, what?

- Nothin'.

- Ow!

Ow!

- Ow what?

- My feet.

My feet.

- Okay, well I only have two hands.

Okay.

It's so much nicer waking up here than waking up at the VA.

Up there.

- Okay.

- Want me to get it?

- Well, it's not gonna come down by itself, is it?

- Okay.

- It's gonna be a huge adjustment, huge.

24/7 care to Peter... [pills rattle, plastic cup clatters] - 24/7 is backbreaking.

It's impossible physically and spiritually to maintain 24/7 care of one person by yourself day in and day out.

JOHN: What are our plans today?

- Nothin'.

JOHN: So we can go out somewhere?

PETER: We got too much food in the refrigerator to go out for lunch.

JOHN: Are there leftovers?

- Pizza from yesterday... and the stuff from Fay from Sunday that we'll have for dinner.

(agitated) The seafood and all the stuff that Fay made for you.

For dinner.

JOHN: I understand English.

I wasn't- - Just don't [bleep] and moan about it.

PETER: It's right there.

Let me go upstairs.

[John chuckles] JOHN: Okay then.

- You're okay?

[mellow guitar] PETER: Good, Ginger!

JOHN: Hi, Piggy!

John... JOHN: Nice!

John, if you fall in a hole over there... (stern) John!

JOHN: I see!

I'll look!

PETER (not so sure): Uh huh... JOHN: I'm watching!

Hey, let me just try the road.

[chair whirs, wheels crunch on gravel] [mellow acoustic guitar continues] Huh.

FILMMAKER: Hey, John... - Yep.

- You're making me- you're making me nervous.

- Yeah, I'm coming.

I'm coming back.

- Somebody comes over that hill... JOHN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I gotcha.

I gotcha.

I agree.

Gin!

[whistles faintly] C'mon girl!

Ginger!

[intriguing music] [indistinct talking] Out of sight, out of mind.

(in a low growl) Woop.

[chuckles] PETER: Daybreak is great 'cause it gives me three days of having John socialize with other people.

PETER: We don't have that kind of relationship where we can sit and chat with each other all day long.

PETER: I can't do it.

I can't do 10, 12 hours a day sitting by him, keeping him entertained.

I don't have that- I don't have that ability.

[lighthearted, quirky music] PETER: You ready?

JOHN: Yep.

[gentle acoustic guitar] PETER: The intent of the Radicava is supposedly to slow the progression of the disease.

Since everybody reacts differently, uh, we don't know really where he should be by now.

[John weeping] PETER: I have to clean up dog mess outside now.

[snow crunches beneath footsteps] [faint heartbeat] [soulful, tonal vocalization] ♪ [breathing] [walking and slightly labored breathing] [bird chirps] [music fades, car whirs by] [friendly electronic alert] [automated voice followed by John's friends] [more alerts] [voice echoes on call] [wind whirs, bamboo chimes clink] [serene music] [dog barks] [John speaks - indistinct] [slurps through straw] [rain falls] [gentle droning and percussive music] [leaves crunch beneath feet] [tonal singing] [bamboo wind chimes] [music fades] [dog barks in the distance] [same dog barking] [soft breeze] [birds and insects chirp] JENNIFER: I mean, this is tricky.

We all can see that.

This is not easy for either one of you.

And you've been having problems, ups and downs, which is understandable.

PETER: We've been on a roller coaster for 43 years.

[chuckles] JENNIFER: But I was wondering if, [Peter scoots chair] because John seems to really- you're getting a bit more distraught sometimes, and- PETER: It's called cranky.

JENNIFER: Well, and it's also called ALS.

I'm just wondering if it might be helpful to both of you to talk it through with somebody who's experienced with this kind of stuff.

[dogs panting] PETER: You're right.

I'm not sensitive enough.

You're right.

JOHN: Yeah.

PETER: That's what the issue is.

JOHN: Yeah, I- - I can't be there 24/7, 365.

And his perceptions too, when he calls me at two, three, four in the morning, and I come down to my eyes aren't- purposely my eyes aren't open because I don't want to fully awake.

I wanna try to get back to bed for a couple hours more sleep.

I don't want to be 'HO!

HAW!'

happy and go lucky, (raises voice) 'Whoah!

Great!

How are you feeling, buddy?

Lets... What do you wanna do?'

JOHN: But um- - But then when I'm not down there the second he needs me, (mimicking John being angry) 'I'm the one who's dying!'

I get this all the time.

I. Do.

Not.

Deal.

With.

Pity parties!

PETER: And rightfully so because you're being a [bleep].

You're catching him on the down spiral of the rollercoaster.

JENNIFER: Well, I guess it's- [crosstalk] And that's Not.

Going.

To.

Change.

JENNIFER: But maybe it could.

[pensive music] PETER: There may come a point in time where I can no longer care for him at home.

But I don't sit and dwell on things.

If this happens, what do we do?

If that happens, what do we do?

I haven't gone there.

That's something I can't physically or emotionally handle.

I can't do it.

[pills rattle, pill bottles clatter] [John murmuring to himself] [musical mood slightly lifts] [soulful vocals over guitar and steady heartbeat] [thunder rumbles] [birds sing] [phone chimes and vibrates] PETER: It was the middle of the night, almost, early morning, about three o'clock in the morning, John was screaming over the, uh, over the baby monitor.

I called 9-1-1.

And within five minutes, the EMS crew pulled up.

So they said ah, we're taking him to the emergency room.

They decided they were gonna intubate him, stick a respirator down his throat because he wasn't getting enough oxygen.

John and I both had a discussion with the doctor about the next step.

And this really was not optional.

[phone chimes and vibrates] PETER: He's going to have to have a tracheostomy.

They put a hole in his throat so they could provide oxygen to his lungs.

It's either do it or die.

That's the reality of it.

It's either do it or die.

[phone chimes and vibrates] It's doable to be at home with a ventilator.

That's what we're gonna try to do.

And everybody at Martinsburg, they all remember John, they all love him.

They all want to make it happen.

[somber, tonal music] EFFIE: You don't take hope away, never.

But you can't be home and be unsafe.

Certain things must be in place.

Number one's a generator.

- The power must never go out.

John's on a ventilator now, so that can't stop, because it would kill him.

- You don't just get a ventilator and, you're you know, have at it.

You need to be trained.

Ventilators alarm all the time.

Feeding pumps, he's got the IVs, he's got to be medicated, he's gotta get cleaned up.

- But we have to get John home.

I mean, that is a given.

He's not willing to live the rest of his days in an institution, on a respirator.

If he can't come home, he doesn't want to live.

So, that has to happen.

[somber tonal music continues] [quiet, foreboding percussive flare] [hospital equipment beeps] [percussive rattle] [hospital monitor beeps] [out-going ringtone] [answer alert] [quiet laughter] [laughter] JOHN (playful): Aaahhh!

[Fay laughs] [Billy groans emotionally] [gentle music] [hospital monitors beep and whir] [groans softly] [Peter talks through tears] [gentle, solemn guitar music] [music fades] [peaceful music] [bustle of airport] [joyous laughter] [Samoan Christian music plays] PETER: We're at the foundation of John's home where John grew up.

It was a two-story house for many, many years.

They took down most of it.

[dog barks, bird chirp] This is a carport, very seldom had a car in it.

We all gathered out here in tables and chairs, ate dinner, ate lunch.

And in front of the carport is where mom and dad are buried.

Father Ignatius Nacio and Mother Pa'u.

And that's where John is going as well, being next to his mother.

- How are you feeling about this moment?

- Mixed emotions.

Happy and sad.

Happy that John is back where he- (teary) where he wanted to be.

[rooster crows] But sad that he's back where he wanted to be.

[a chorus of people sing a Samoan hymn] [waves crash and roar] [singing continues] PETER (laughs softly): Everybody who met John, loved John.

[fans whir, birds chirp] PETER (weeping): I'll forever carry him here.

I thank you so much for accepting us together.

Fa'afetai, everybody.

Thank you so much for John.

- Peter, words are not enough to say thank you for loving him for this many years.

You are part of this family, you're part of this family.

[gatherers sing harmoniously in Samoan] JENNIFER: Peter, how would you like John to be remembered?

JOHN (sings): Dancing queen, you and me [Peter and John crack up] [harmonious singing continues] [Peter sniffles] PETER: It's nice to see him home again.

[song fades] [footsteps, lapping waves] [waves fade] [gentle tonal vocals and soft percussion] ♪